So, you and your spouse just can’t make it work and you want to end things as peacefully and painlessly as possible.
What can you do?
Well, there are ways to keep the drama of the process to a minimum while getting accomplished what needs to be accomplished.
And I talk about this in my recently published book, entitled “Stress Free Divorce.” Basically, most people just don’t know about these alternatives and think their sole option is to go before a judge, which is definitely not true.
“Stress Free Divorce” talks about alternative dispute resolution methods, specifically mediation. A lot of couples don’t know or don’t feel they can mediate a case. They think the only way to finalize a case is through the court system, through a judge, through lawyers, through litigation.
However, the financial expense alone of going to court should be reason enough to want to avoid it, not to mention it is a very slow process by design.
One alternative is going to mediation. People don’t realize they can hire an attorney who is also a certified mediator. The mediator will help them negotiate, compromise and settle terms. All you’re paying for is the hourly rate of the attorney who has been hire, but that is certainly cheaper than litigation.
If that doesn’t sound appealing, there is another avenue that can be taken. You can hire a third-party neutral mediator who will sit down with both parties to go over the terms and disputes. The mediator in this case will tell each party what they should do to compromise and tell them what terms to agree to so the case gets settled and everyone can move past it.
Again, you’re just paying the cost of the mediator and, in both cases, since they don’t take place in courtrooms they are private proceedings.
What makes these processes more desirable is that they are not automatically legally binding. Before these terms can take effect, they have to be agreed to by both parties and signed by both parties stating that everyone is on the same page.
That can result in a much more pleasant experience that going to court, where the parties could possibly have the terms of the divorce dictated to them by judge and it is possible they could have no say over it.
And keep in mid the cost of litigation can be in the tens of thousands of dollars as cases can drag on for years with nothing being settled in the interim.
Another benefit to mediation is that is doesn’t leave any issue off the table just by virtue of being mediation. Basically, anything can be mediated. That includes child custody, child support, spousal support, asset division. Every single thing can be mediated. Both parties have to voluntarily come to the table, agree on the terms and settle it. Nothing is mandatory here. So, if one party doesn’t want to mediate, there is nothing the other party can do.”
So, why did I write this book? It’s simple: to help people.
I wanted to share with people the different options that they have, so they don’t just think the traditional course of divorce is their only path. The book goes into detail about specific processes of mediation. For example, active listening is one of the things I cover. It’s a technique I do with my clients who hire me as a mediator. I sit down with them and we use the talking stick method. Basically, whoever is holding the stick can talk. It’s a good mediation technique.”
I also came upon the idea for this book through personal experience as my divorce was not exactly pleasant.
I ended up settling my divorce after four years. Through the divorce process I learned about the benefits of mediation and settlement. I ended up taking a certification course through the bar association. They taught us everything about mediation and it ended up helping in my own life.
Making a divorce a little less painful is important because it already causes so much other pain and disruption in someone’s life. Mediation and settlement can do that if both parties are willing, she added.
Basically, you want to settle a case with as little stress as possible. Divorce is already one of the most stressful times of life anyone has to go through. Maybe these tips will help a little.